You wouldn't depise me if you really knew me
by laharvey125
Summary: I've been a fan of ItaSaku, but it's hard to imagine how such a pairing could exist. Here is what I think would be the most likely scenario based on the manga ::SPOILERS included if you haven't read past the epic fight between Sasuke & Itachi::


Ninja Log 347

Something incredible has happened. I do not know what to make of it. All I know for sure is that I must keep this to myself. For who would believe the truth when I barely do? Itachi is not who we all believed him to be. But wait, I had better start at the beginning.

It happened while we were trailing Sasuke. We had just passed through the debris from a battlefield, only to discover that Deidara and Sasuke had been there. To learn that Sasuke had become so powerful sent shivers down my spine. What a powerful ally he could have become had he remained in Konoha. Naruto was very anxious to pick up the trail and continue on. I know that he misses Sasuke as much as I do, but my optimism only reaches so far. I fear that Sasuke will never return. He had so many opportunities to do so already and he has taken none of them. I hate to say it, but I fear that he has become a lost cause.

Naruto got impulsive and impatient again and rushed off ahead of the rest. I quickened my pace to try to pull him back, but before long he was too far away and I was left alone. I decided to wait for the others to catch up. Something didn't feel right, almost like you could sense something bad was about to happen.

"Sakura Haruno."

I nearly jumped out of my skin. Itachi Uchiha?! Here?! I was so startled that I nearly looked into his eyes, but had thankfully caught myself in time. I looked at his feet instead. His position seemed relaxed, and why should he not be? I was clearly no match for him. All the same, his coolness made my skin crawl. I needed to get out of here and fast. I only hoped the others were about to catch up. He began to say something else but I didn't stick around long enough to let him finish. I took off at full speed, but I could hear him following close behind.

"I just want to talk, I swear it."

Yeah right! Fat chance of that. I didn't waste time responding. It was a greater priority to get out of here. I was terrified. This man had taken down Kakashi-Sensei in seconds. I just had to get out of here. Itachi was faster than I had thought, or my panic had slowed me down; he suddenly had me pinned against a tree. He held me firmly but not painfully as I struggled in his grip. I closed my eyes tightly. "Please, I don't know where Naruto is, and even if I did I wouldn't tell you!"

"I know. I've already spoken to him."

"What?!" I was so startled that I looked directly into his eyes. It looked like I didn't need to worry after all because his Sharigan wasn't activated. His eyes were a soft shade of coal, so much like Sasuke's. They looked…well…like someone who lived a life of pain. What was I thinking?! Feeling sympathy for a heartless killer? I turned my head away.

"I don't have much time. I have already talked to Naruto and now I must speak with you. I assure you that he is safe."

Lies! Lies all of it! I bit my tongue to keep back all the vile things I wanted to shout at him. I held back because there was no sense in making him angry. He hadn't killed me yet, I had no idea why. Maybe he really did just want to talk, but I wasn't going to gamble on that. I needed to escape; maybe I could fake him out and use one of my smoke pellets. I might not get very far, but I needed to buy some time. His grip had relaxed a little. I struck out with my right fist while slipping my left hand into my pouch. He deftly tightened his grip on both.

He stuck his face close to mine, I could smell his breath. "You wouldn't despise me if you really knew me." Did he just chuckle? "At least I'd like to think so." He nuzzled his cheek against mine. I flinched and he whispered in my ear. "Sasuke will find me soon and I'll let him kill me. I have accepted my fate. But I couldn't die without telling you first."

What lies would he spout now? "Tell me…what?"

His gaze was so compelling that I couldn't help but look back. "I love you Sakura. I--"

That was when I fainted. Fainted! Of all times! I would like to blame it on the heat, but that would be lying. I was just so confused and over-whelmed; it's not every day a murderous missing-nin confesses feelings for me. Being loved by an Uchiha, but not the one I liked was too ironic. I'm surprised I hadn't laughed. Eventually I started coming to, I was lying down my head in someone's lap with my hair being stroked. For a minute I snuggled closer, thinking I was home by my mother's side. Then I remembered what had happened just before I blacked out. I scrambled away and made a quick inventory on my person. It looked like all my gear had been untouched. He sat calmly watching me with keen eyes. It sent a shiver down my spine. What had he done to me while I slept? I could find out later, first I needed to run. It was then that I took in our surroundings and my heart fell. Blackness all around, I was trapped in one of his genjutsu's! I was surely doomed now. Kakashi-Sensei had said that once Itachi had you trapped in his world, he controlled the time. There was no telling how long I could be stuck here. Oddly enough I was somewhat relieved; he must have said what he did so he could lower my guard to cast the genjutsu.

He rose to his feet. "Don't be afraid. I still mean you no harm. I need to show you something, which I can only do here. While I know that you could never love me back"—I flinched, so he had really meant that—"hopefully I can lessen your hatred of me."

I stared dumb-founded at him. What was he doing? I should be dead by now, why was he stalling? Why was he declaring his love for me? It just didn't make sense. I couldn't help but wonder why he was trying to peace with me and not his brother?

"Sasuke's peace will only come with my death. You've spent time with him. You know how…narrow-minded he can be," he said with a grim chuckle.

I clapped a hand over my mouth. Had I spoken my thoughts aloud or could he read them?

He turned his back on me. "I know what has been said of me --- a cold and heartless killer who murdered his entire clan. While I won't deny I did that, it wasn't for the reasons you think." He turned towards me. "I did it to protect Konoha…and you."

I was so overwhelmed I sank to my knees but thankfully didn't faint. What was he talking about? What was going on?

He smiled faintly. "I know it's a lot to take in. It looks like I'll have to show you."

He waved his hand, images and scenes emerged from the darkness. I silently how the Uchihas had planned to overthrow Konoha and the rest of the ninja world. I watched Itachi's struggle with his position as a double agent, his reaction to his last assignment and of that fateful night. I couldn't bear to watch it so I looked at him. For the first time I realized he was crying silently. It was so bizarre, how could he telling the truth? It was incredible. But why would he waste my time lying to me? There was no other reason for it…it had to be true. Tears rose to my eyes. What Itachi had done have saved the village, and yet what thanks did he receive? Scorn and ridicule, hunted and hated.

Itachi helped me to my feet. "I take it that you believe me?"

I nodded and quickly wiped my tears away. I hated crying, especially in front of boys.

He smiled widely; I had never seen anything like it. "I have just about run out of time, but I wanted you to know"—he took my hands in his—"that had circumstances been different, had I never left Konoha; I would have liked to get to know you better. You were young when I left, but most of my missions were close to Konoha so I kept tabs on you. I have always loved you—even through all those years I've spent as Jiraiya's Akatsuki informant."

"So you're the one who gave him the information that helped us have a fighting chance?"

He stroked my cheek and this time I didn't flinch. I still found all this bewildering baffling, but his eyes shown with sincerity and I strangely felt safe. He continued, "I wish I could have known how you felt in return. Whether you would have accepted or rejected my feelings."

I couldn't say anything. I didn't know how I felt. I had gone from loathing to pitying to admiring, could I really make the leap to love? He wore a sad smile, "Thank you for listening to me. Please take care of yourself."

He gave me a soft kiss on my cheek. How gentle his touch was. I impulsively threw my arms around his neck in an embrace. "I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you felt. I don't think I would have had the strength to do the same thing, but I want to thank you on behalf of Konoha…and myself."

He pulled back slightly so he could look at me. His lips twitched like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure how to say it. I don't know how long we stared at each other. He leaned in slowly, clearing intending to kiss me, but giving me time to turn away. I don't know what came over me. Maybe I was caught up in the moment, distracted by how much he looked like Sasuke, or maybe I was falling for Itachi. But I kissed him all the same. He pulled me closer to him, closing the gap between us. What an incredible kiss, my very first one, and with a missing-nin no less!

Itachi pulled away. "I have to leave now."

I clung into him. "But—"

He smiled wryly. "As much as I want to stay, I have to leave. Sasuke means to kill me, and I deserve to after what I did. Hopefully once he gets his revenge, he'll be the boy he used to be."

Color began to return as he withdrew the jutsu and we were standing in the forest once again. I held into him tightly, afraid that he would disappear too. He wore a small smile. "You're not making this easy for me."

"You've sacrificed enough for Konoha, you don't need to do anymore! Sasuke made his own choices; you can't blame yourself for that! You don't have to turn yourself in."

"I have to go all the same. He has arrived." He gave me one final kiss and then disappeared.

I couldn't believe what happened. I had originally fled from him but now I wanted to run after him. What had come over me? I had I lost my mind? I rubbed my eyes and felt something cold against my skin. I opened my hand, Itachi's necklace? When did he given that to me? Perhaps it was meant to be something to remember him by? I carefully tied it around my neck.

"Sakura! Hey Sakura! Have you found Naruto yet?" I could hear Kiba call out. The others were finally catching up. I didn't know where Naruto was, but I now believed Itachi that he was safe. And like Itachi, I mourned for the future we could have shared had things been different.


End file.
